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elveness_whitetiger
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Name: Kari
Country: United States
State: Ohio
Birthday: 3/24/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Therianthropy, Christ, Drawing, Writing, Fantasy, Gothic things, Blood, Animals, Theology, Astronomy, Anime Art, Christian Hard Rock/Metal, Gothic Music, Rain, Thunderstorms, Action movies, Mostly anything Medieval, Swords or other forms of medieval weaponry, slight traveling, Japanese Stuff, Dragons, King Arthur, LOTR, 'The Greater Unknown', Philosophy, Messing with people's minds, Studying religions, Shadows and Darkness
Expertise: Being a very boring person locked in her own world of malice and regret
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  adaum kaetaia
MSN: wings_of_a_white_tiger@hotmail.com
Member Since:
10/3/2004
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| Hallo-ween... Halloween... *Whispers in the dark like a mad man.* Yes, I'm slap happy... I need sleep. And I know this isn't a real entry, but just letting people know that I'm still alive. | | |
| I'm tired... I can't think to update this place. I should. But I don't. As you can obviously tell. Too much drama in my life right now, but I don't feel like posting it.
I hope everyone is well. | | |
| If you know what this picture is of, you rock more than life itself.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y261/WingedWhiteTiger/S7.jpg | | |
| I hate that I'm such a freaking crappy friend. I know I am. I see that now. Its why I don't feel I have any close friends. I shut myself off, and when people try to get close to me I shut them out, completely. Dang, I hardly comment on anyone's LJ. I don't comment on anyone's Xanga. And I hardly ever reply to anyone's Myspace, even the comments they leave me. And getting me to read anyone's blogs... unless its LJ, thats a complete never. And I wonder why... *sighs*
I'm in a bad mood if thats not evident. Not depressed. Just, angry. I blew up at Trisha today. I'm not saying she can't get on my nerves... but that was uncalled for and I knew it.
And a friend of mine... Lets call him... Quin... Went through a pretty crappy night tonight. His girl left him for some guy that I told him before it was basically going to happen... He didn't listen to me. He was so angry that he was down on himself... and I couldn't say anything. I couldn't comfort him. Instead, I made crap so much worse. He was taking it out on me in a way... and I'm surprised I didn't blow up at him, I wanted to. I wanted to so badly.
Quin told me way back when I was still dating Josh that he liked me. I ignored it then. Same as I did today. I tried to pretend he meant something else. He got so freaking jealous when I told him I was with Herbert. And he accused me of some things that were downright true, and I know he knew it. I know that killed him inside... but I still sat there with no emotion... just locking myself away as usual.
I hate myself so much! Why can't I be a good friend... why can't I help people the way I want to?!
I'm sorry I haven't been there for you lately Cholie... | | |
| I want to warn everyone that if you don't believe in spirits or angels and demons, this post will seem like nothing more then the insane rants of a crazy person. I'm not saying I'm not psycho... but in my mind I know he was real...
I found myself going outside at night for the first time in ages. I had been avoiding it for the pure fact that I had been feeling some very unrestful spirits in the past months, and I felt scared by them. But as I walked out there something was different... it was calm and peaceful.
I sat on the steps of the deck, my wings bothering me, when I realized that something was out there. I raised my head and looked out, as I began talking to what was near. I could feel the calm, a calm that this person or thing had administered. And then I realized that whatever, whoever, this was, was the reason that the unsettled spirits had been kept at bay.
He never came near me, keeping himself at a distance. He wasn't dark. But he wasn't light. He was... rain. I know that sounds strange, but its the best way to discribe him. For whatever reason he wanted me to know about him tonight. He showed me that he could protect me and had been watching over me for some time.
I walked from the deck and talked with him a little more until he led me to the other side of the house where I could feel that the other spirits were closer, though he kept his eye out. And then I saw that he had led me to the lilac bush. I picked some of them, gave some to my sister and mom.
I still have my lilac. I smell it to remember him. I told Brit about him and we walked out together where she in a way met him, he was still keeping his distance. But Gabe was there, next to us. And I'm happy that I finally got to meet him (Brit's guardian angel). I saw Gabe, he was watching the stars. Brit and I compared what I saw of him to what she saw... and oddly enough what we saw matched, so I know it was him. She was happy that I saw him.
I still can't see the one who gave me the lilacs. He didn't want me to. But I know he's there, and he'll come back. I've been stressing all day over things, and I cried myself to sleep last night. But after meeting him I'm alright. He helped calm me down. I'm so glad I got to meet him. ^^ | | |
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